My Soul in Stillness Waits

This morning I am covering the reception desk at Sophia Center for a couple of hours. It should be quiet, because the retreatants are here for “Coffee and Silence”—a time to withdraw from the busyness of the world and enjoy contemplative silence.

Taking time for silent prayer is especially appropriate during Advent, when we are called to “Be still and know that I am God.” Being a Christian calls us to a counter-cultural way of life, and thus we can basically ensure we are on the right path by doing the opposite of what we see going on in society—hence, in the midst of the noise of nonstop advertising and Christmas music that begins playing the day after Halloween, we can choose to carve out time for silence and prayer.

In stillness, we learn that God is God and we are not, which fosters humility and the joy of being in right relationship with God. Then our hearts are prepared to absorb the awesome gift we celebrate during the season of Christmas—the coming of Emmanuel, God with us, into our world. Out of silence, the Word became flesh—and today, silence continues to be necessary as we prepare to encounter Christ.

Tuning our Spirit to the Music of Heaven

The life of St. Brendan the Navigator is instructive as we begin the season of Advent. St. Brendan is known for undertaking a seven-year-long journey across the sea to find “the place of his resurrection.” The following prayer, attributed to him, could help guide us through our Advent journey:

Help me to journey beyond the familiar
and into the unknown.
Give me the faith to leave old ways
and break fresh ground with You.

Christ of the mysteries, I trust You
to be stronger than each storm within me.
I will trust in the darkness and know
that my times, even now, are in Your hand.
Tune my spirit to the music of heaven,
and somehow, make my obedience count for You. 

During Advent, those of us who pray at the Mount have the opportunity to tune our spirits to the music of heaven with beautiful songs and chants. For example, at evening prayer on Saturday, the vigil of the first Sunday of Advent, we carried four candles in solemn procession from the four corners of the chapel and placed them in our Advent wreath as we sang, “Lord, let us turn to you; let us see your face and we shall be saved.” Our four-week-long Advent journey of stillness and prayer, repentance and waiting, has begun. At its conclusion we shall celebrate with renewed wonder the marvel of seeing God’s face in a manger in Bethlehem, the starting point of our onward journey with Jesus to the place of our resurrection.

Transitioning from the Harvest Season to Advent

Since I came to the Mount on August 5, we have been in harvest mode—first green beans, then squash and cucumbers, followed by popcorn and walnuts, and finally pecans. As the trees shake off the last lingering pecans, I find myself feeling sad that soon we will be in the earth’s fallow cycle, with no more harvesting on the horizon until the spring garden yields its lettuce, peas, and spinach.

Part of the reason I’ll miss harvesting is because I still find great satisfaction in being able to point to what I accomplished at the end of the day—pounds of pecans picked, number of pages edited, or number of chores completed, for example. It’s hard to believe what Fr. Richard Rohr has noted: “God does not love you because you are good. God loves you because God is good.”

On Sunday we will enter into the season of Advent, when we prepare our hearts to welcome God who came to live among us. We were given this gift of Emmanuel, God with us, not because we earned it, but simply because God loves us. It’s fitting that we celebrate Advent and Christmas after the harvest is complete, so we can shift our focus from being productive to remembering that it is through God that we live and move and have our being. The pecans in the freezer are just a bonus.

Help Me to Remember

For the past six years, I have been part of a group called Bethany that goes to the state correctional facility in Lansing, Kansas, to meet with Catholic inmates for Scripture study and faith sharing. When we go to the prison the night before Thanksgiving, I’m always surprised at the level of gratitude expressed by the inmates, even though they aren’t able to be with their families for the holiday. They are thankful for having a bed to sleep in and meals three times a day and are keenly aware that not all people have those blessings. Their attitude reminds me of the following prayer by Samuel Pugh:

       Oh, God, when I have food, help me to remember the hungry;

       when I have work, help me to remember the jobless;

       when I have a warm home, help me to remember the homeless;

       when I am without pain, help me to remember those who suffer;

       and remembering, help me to destroy my complacency

       and bestir my compassion.

       Make me concerned enough to help, by word and deed,

       those who cry out for what we take for granted. 

Here at the Mount, we have been offered a unique reminder of our blessings for the past several days: A banner featuring each letter of the alphabet has been placed on the back tables of the dining room, with markers available so we can make lists of the things we are thankful for, from A to Z. It’s a wonderful call to be mindful of the many things we take for granted and to acknowledge how much we have been given.

I have much to be grateful for as I anticipate my first Thanksgiving at the Mount, including the opportunity to be connected to so many people through The Monastic Call. I will remember you with gratitude on Thanksgiving day!

How the Light Gets In

This past weekend I visited close friends in St. Louis, as I do several times each year. I always look forward to attending mass at my former parish, St. Cronan, because I know I will be uplifted by the music, preaching, and commitment of the parishioners to living the Gospel in their daily lives.

On the Feast of Christ the King, St. Cronan has always focused on the healing aspect of Christ’s kingship. Usually, the anointing of the sick is offered. However, this year, to mark the end of the Year of Mercy, everyone was invited to come forward to be anointed with oil from Jerusalem in a commissioning to go forth and share God’s healing and mercy with others. As we were anointed, these words were spoken: "May Christ the Healer mend our hearts and help us to be mercy for others."

As I visited with friends, several mentioned how difficult Thanksgiving would be this year because of family fractures relating to the recent election. Fractures can carry their own graces, however, as when a plant pushes through the crack in a sidewalk or in a broken pot. As the recently deceased musician Leonard Cohen noted,

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything

That's how the light gets in

Thanksgiving provides us with the opportunity to offer a space for healing by listening to others and not rejecting them because of their beliefs. At the Mount, we are praying that God’s mercy will flow and divisions will be mended through the light of Christ, the healer.

Accompanying Each Other in Life's Changes

I always marvel in late fall when I see a tree that is almost bare of leaves right next to one that is in its full glory. It’s as if one tree says to the other, “What took you so long to change?” while the other replies, “Why were you in such a hurry to move on to winter?”

Much of our communal life, it seems, consists of waiting for each other, because we all bloom into fullness and shed our attachments at different times. Although that can cause frustration, it also makes me think of the quote, “God dwells in the space between two people.” That space between us then becomes a rich opportunity to know God in a different way.

Moving through life at a different pace than our companions calls for compassion and sensitivity as we rejoice and grieve with each other in our joys and losses. As always, nature teaches us patience as we watch the trees keep company with each other in their own unique rhythms.

Acknowledging God's Name

In my Psalms class with Sr. Mary Irene Nowell, I have learned that the Hebrew word for God that is often used by the psalmist means “I am the One who is always with you.” Therefore, in psalm 91:14, when God says, “I will deliver the one who clings to me; I will set on high the one who acknowledges my name,” it appears that what God wants from us is acknowledgement/trust that God is always with us. To which we generally respond, “Gee, wouldn’t it be easier just to offer a burnt sacrifice?”

Confidence that God is always with us is hard to come by. That’s why the psalms keep repeating God’s saving acts throughout history, so we will remember that God always comes through for us. One benefit of aging is that we can look back over the years and see God’s hand in our lives, even when that wasn’t clear at particular times. Nonetheless, at every setback—when our favored candidate loses an election, say, or we need to undergo some medical tests—our first instinct is to say, “Where are you, O God?” Most of us never seem to learn that God’s name is not “I am the One who makes your troubles magically disappear” but “I am the One who is always with you [even in times of fear, grief, and suffering].”

I wonder how life would change if we truly believed that God’s name is Emmanuel—God with us. I imagine we would worry less, have a more peaceful spirit, and be better able to offer comfort to others. Perhaps it would be helpful to address God as Emmanuel in our prayer throughout the year, not just during Advent, and especially when our confidence is at a low ebb—for God delivers the one who acknowledges God’s name.

Holy Hands

In some cultures, folk art depicts hands with holes in the center to indicate that we should permit some of the blessings we receive to flow on to others. Based on the generosity the Mount community experienced at the Night of Dreams fundraiser, our benefactors have very holy hands indeed!

As I have learned through my class on the History of Mount St. Scholastica, the community has been sustained by the kindness and generosity of others from its earliest days. The seven sisters who arrived in Atchison on November 11, 1863, found that Catholic families had already built a convent for them. Correspondence from early prioresses and bishops frequently mention that they sent “begging letters” to various benefactors. The Mount could not have survived through the years without the support of persons who valued and chose to support the work of the Sisters.

Today, in our American culture, self-sufficiency has become so highly regarded that we may cringe at the thought of begging. However, Christians know that there is no such thing as self-sufficiency, for we depend on God for our very breath, and all blessings flow from the Trinity. Likewise, those in the Body of Christ support the needs and ministries of each other, because, as Sr. Anne Shepard noted at the Night of Dreams, our work is your work. Through my donations to Habitat to Humanity over the years, I have helped to build houses, although I have never picked up a hammer. Likewise, persons who support the Mount are right alongside us in the chapel, classroom, Dooley Center, Sophia Center, and Keeler Women’s Center.

We are very grateful to all those who gave us a holy hand at the Night of Dreams, and we will work to ensure that those blessings will flow on through our ministries—the work of our hands.

Like Fish Searching for Water

About two years ago I discovered a contemporary writer on monasticism, Christine Valters Paintner, who now lives in Ireland and has established a virtual online global monastery, Abbey of the Arts. Every day I receive an e-mail with a short reflection from Christine. Today, the message was this:

"For John of the Cross the spiritual life is not about getting closer to God. Instead it is a journey of consciousness. We realize union with God, we don't acquire it or achieve it. It is something we already possess but we need to let go of everything that keeps us from seeing this reality. The dark night journey essentially is about stripping away all of our false idols and securities so that we might come to a more profound realization of the love that already dwells within us."

As Robert Peterson noted in his book Answers Within, “Some spend their whole lives searching for meaning, love, or God…. But the meaning, love, and God they search for pervade everything. They are like fish searching for the water that surrounds them.”

Christine’s reflection makes me think of St. Martin of Tours, whose feast we celebrate today. He wanted nothing more but to live a quiet life of prayer in the monastery he founded, but was made bishop by the general acclaim of the people. By all accounts he was an excellent bishop, likely because he had been able to strip away his false idols and securities and had a profound realization of his union with God. A current example of such a person is Pope Francis, who prioritizes prayer and chooses to live simply despite the luxuries available to him. It is heartening to see the witness of such leaders who inspire us with their authenticity and humility.

I came to the monastery with the hope that it would be a good environment for stripping away my false idols and securities. Of course, you bring yourself wherever you go, so it’s an ongoing and lifelong process, but it is certainly helpful to have prayer built into the day and to have the support and example of others in the community who are also on a journey of consciousness. As the stories of St. Martin and Pope Francis illustrate, the profound realization of the love that already dwells within us leads to a pouring out of that love in a life of service. In such a life, the Sisters are showing me, monastic companions are a true blessing.

Being on God's Side

The work of a Christian the day before and the day after an election is exactly the same: to attend to the needs of the poor, seek justice for the oppressed, provide a home for refugees, comfort the sorrowing, seek an end to war, and advocate freedom for captives.

In every election, people pray to God that their side will win, when what we should be most concerned about is whether we are on God’s side. Scripture is clear that God’s side is with the poor. Over and over we are reminded that whatever you do, don’t wreck the lives of the poor, because God loves them very much and will remember how you treat them. To be on God’s side, we must always support the poor and work on their behalf, even (or especially) when persons with political power have other agendas.

One benefit of getting older is that I have come to realize that God works with whatever decisions we make, individually or collectively, to teach us the way and lead us to goodness. Sometimes the lessons are painful, but the work of the Spirit cannot be contained. Last night a candidate won the electoral vote, while the other candidate won the popular vote. If we trust in God, we have to trust that, as Julian of Norwich proclaimed, all will be well.

Perhaps a good prayer at this time of national division and unrest is the Litany of Peace adapted by Barbara Bridge from the Prayer of St. Francis:

                        Faithful God, wherever there is darkness, may we bring your light:

                                    Make me an instrument of your peace

                        May we bring hope and gladness where despair and sadness are:

                                    Make me an instrument of your peace

                        May we seek to understand one another with a patient heart:

                                    Make me an instrument of your peace

                       Gracious God, whenever people hunger, may we fill their need:

                                    Make me an instrument of your peace

                       Set us free from all fear and anger; set us free to love:

                                    Make me an instrument of your peace

I will leave you with the image I am greeted with every morning and evening: various Sisters trailing down the hallway on the way to the Choir Chapel for morning and evening prayers. Let us pray for each other and for all the people of the United States.

All Real Living is Meetings

As I discovered at a Mount community meeting this past weekend, one of the many gifts that Benedictines have to offer the world is a model of peaceful and inclusive self-governance. Choosing leaders, addressing everyone’s needs, and articulating a vision for the future are not easy tasks, whether for a nation or for a religious community of 125+ women. Here is what we can learn from the approach used by the Mount:

• Begin in a spirit of gratitude. For each community meeting, a Sister is invited to present a “gratitude talk” after the opening prayer each day. At the November meeting, Srs. Bernelda Nanneman and Carolyn Rohde traced God’s marvelous workings in their lives through their families, ministries, and life in community. We were able to marvel with them at difficulties they overcame, struggles they experienced, joys they felt, weaknesses they regretted, lessons they learned, and blessings they received, and we were reminded that in the body of Christ, their story is our story.

• Allow each person to have a voice. Not everyone is comfortable standing before and speaking to an entire assembly, but opportunities for discussions in small groups were provided, and written input was solicited from everyone on various issues. In addition, we listened respectfully and patiently to every person who wished to speak to the entire assembly.

• Acknowledge everyone’s contributions. Everyone in the community was thanked for SOMETHING during the two-day meeting, whether it was for serving on committees, preparing presentations, working on the Night of Dreams event, assisting elderly sisters in Dooley Center, serving on various boards outside the community, participating in Atchison outreach activities, being liturgical ministers, fostering vocations, offering hospitality to visitors and oblates, praying for those in need, and living out our Benedictine charism to the best of our ability.

One aspect of community meetings that everyone can agree on is that we are grateful when they are over! However, now that I have two community meetings under my belt, I also find myself grateful that the Mount has the wisdom and tenacity to come together four times a year to address issues, make collective decisions, and discern how best to nurture ourselves and the world with our Benedictine values.

Getting One's Goat and Holding One's Tongue

Baseball fans had reason to rejoice when the 71-year old curse placed on the Chicago Cubs by William Sianis was finally broken on November 2, 2016, after the Cubs won Game 7 of the World Series to become champions for the first time since 1908.

As curses go, the one uttered by Sianis was relatively mild; upon being told that he would have to remove his pet goat, Murphy, from Wrigley Field because the goat’s odor was offending other fans, Sianis allegedly declared, "Them Cubs, they ain't gonna win no more." Compare that to some of the curses listed in Psalm 109: “And may he be clothed with cursing as with a robe; may it penetrate into his entrails like water and like oil into his bones; may it be for him like a garment which covers him, like a girdle which is always about him.”

I gather that William Sianis tried himself tried to undo his famous curse, and his son did as well, but once spoken, words take on a life of their own. Benedict knew this well, for as he said in the Rule, monks are to “restrain their tongue” and “be not noisy in their speech.” At this time of year, when we are weary of hearing politicians be “noisy in their speech,” it’s easy to point fingers at others, but most of us have experienced times when we wish we had restrained our tongues. Just yesterday in a meeting I made some blunt comments and now wish I had been gentler in my speech. Opportunities to learn to guard our tongues are always with us.

William Sianis later regretted that he allowed others to “get his goat,” so to speak. His story is a reminder to watch over our thoughts so that, as Fr. Edward Hays noted in A Pilgrim’s Almanac, the “piece of mind” we give others leads to “peace of mind” for all of us. 

The Distance Between Heaven and Earth

At a retreat on Celtic Spirituality at Sophia Center, Sr. Therese Elias noted that for the ancient Celtic people, the unseen world was continuous with the physical world, and thus they believed that the spirits of the dead were still present with them. For the Celts, heaven and earth were only three feet apart, and in “thin places” the distance was even shorter.

I have an elderly uncle with dementia who is very much in touch with the thin places. Every time I visit him, he tells me that his brother Bernard (who died four years ago) has a job driving the tractor for his nephew on the farm, and though he’s not making much money, he’s as happy as can be. The poet William Wordsworth believed that it is with our imagination that we perceive eternity, and I’m delighted that in my uncle’s perception of eternity, his brother is happy, doing the work he loves, and still helping out family members.

Here at the Mount, our worship aid for the Feast of All Saints included this quote by Charles Péguy:

“We must save ourselves together. We must arrive all together in the heaven of our God. We must present ourselves together. We must not come to look for our God without each other. We must return all together to the house of our Father. We must also think a little about each other and work for each other. What might God say, if we arrive without each other?”

During this month of the remembrance of the dead, it comforts me to know that our deceased loved ones are still thinking about us and working for us. It’s as if they are steadying the top of the ladder as we ourselves make the climb from earth to heaven. When the climb seems long and we are missing them, we should take heart, for after all, they are only three feet away.