Be Careful What You Wish For

I once saw an episode of The Twilight Zone called “A Nice Place to Visit,” in which a crook named Rocky Valentine is shot and killed while committing a robbery. He is led to the next world, where at first he is ecstatic to find himself in the best place he can imagine: a high-end casino where he always wins at gambling, is fawned over by beautiful women, and lives in luxury. After a while, however, he finds that gambling is boring without the thrill of not knowing whether he will win or lose, relationships are dissatisfying when he always know how the other person will act, and being surrounded by luxury is monotonous because nothing ever changes. He grows desperate to escape what he thought he always wanted and begs his guide to take him to “the other place.” His guide laughs and says, “The other place? This IS the other place!”

We are all familiar with the adage, “Be careful what you wish for.” This adage can be partnered with Proverbs 3:5: “Trust in God, and do not lean on your own understanding.” It is a blow to our ego when we get an inkling of the enormity of what we do not comprehend. However, John of the Cross says that our experiences of doubt and humility are actually a gift to us from God, because when we are liberated from what we think we know about God, ourselves, and others, we can be open to what lies beyond our limited imagination.

I often pray to know God more fully, but perhaps instead I should pray to “trust in the slow, slow work of God,” as Teilhard de Chardin advises. We are eager to unlock the mysteries of God and the universe, but if they were presented to us today we wouldn’t be able to comprehend them, because it is through the process of attention and discovery that we grow in wisdom and appreciation. God knows that, ironically, mystery leads us to understanding by helping us get beyond what we think we know and want.

Although we know God so little, God’s essence as a loving, merciful, and generous creator nonetheless has been revealed to us through the ages. Therefore, unlike Rocky Valentine, I’m not tempted to design my own version of heaven. Although I’d be likely to fill it with loving companions, books, and chocolate, “Eye has not seen, and ear has not heard, nor has it entered the human heart, what God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Cor 2: 9). I’ve come to understand that it is enough to ask just one thing of God: “To dwell in the house of the Lord [in God’s presence] all the days of my life” (Ps 27:4).