A Lesson in Grumbling and Gratitude

The laces on my current pair of tennis shoes have a propensity to become untied, and I often grumble at the nuisance of having to find a place out of the flow of traffic in the monastery hallway to stop and retie them. A note from an oblate, Jim Gordon, who is volunteering at a Catholic Charities refugee respite center near San Diego, gave me a different perspective on my situation. Here is what he said that gave me pause:

“I never would have guessed that what they really need is shoelaces. They all come in with no shoelaces, because it is ICE policy to confiscate them. ICE is afraid of the laces being used for suicide. Why anyone would risk their lives coming from God knows where to kill themselves in a US border detention center is beyond me.” Sister Molly Brockwell, who volunteered this summer at a refugee respite center in Laredo, Tx., said the people she was assisting also had this problem, and she made numerous trips to the Dollar Store to buy all the shoelaces they had.

In all the times I have had to stop to tie my shoes, it never occurred to me to be grateful that I had shoelaces to tie (let alone shoes themselves). I will tie my shoes with a thankful spirit from now on, and I’ll say a prayer for our brothers and sisters who are hobbled not just by lack of shoelaces but by poverty, violence, and discrimination.

Saint Benedict warned against grumbling in his Rule: “First and foremost, there must be no word or sign on the evil of grumbling, no manifestation of it for any reason at all” (RB 34:6). He identified grumbling as evil because he knew that it feeds envy, judgment, and discontent; it also leads us to disregard our blessings and blinds us to the needs of others who have so much less than we do. Thus one way to cultivate a grateful spirit and to practice love of neighbor is to resist the urge to grumble and focus instead on the ways we are blessed. We might even be moved to buy shoelaces and donate them to a Catholic Charities refugee respite center.