No One Is Meant to Suffer Alone

In her spiritual classic The Way of the Cross, Caryll Houselander says that one thing we can learn from Jesus’ passion is that “no one is meant to suffer alone.” Those who helped Jesus bear his suffering included Mary of Bethany, who anointed Jesus’ feet with costly perfume in anticipation of his death; Simon of Cyrene, who carried Jesus’ cross during part of his march to Golgotha; and the disciple John, who at the foot of the cross agreed to take Jesus’ mother into his care.

Others failed to accompany Jesus in his suffering. As Houselander notes, “He asked the three apostles … for sympathy in the garden of Gethsemane. He did not ask them to do anything to avert his suffering, but only to be with him in it, to share it with him through compassion: ‘Could you not watch one hour with me?’”

We, who are called to see Christ in each other, also are asked to be with Christ in his suffering. As Matthew says so eloquently in his gospel (25: 31-45), when we feed the hungry, give water to the thirsty, welcome the stranger, clothe the naked, care for the ill, and visit those in prison, Christ says, “You did it for me.”

To be with those who are suffering when we can offer them nothing but our presence is especially difficult. We all encounter among our family, friends, and communities those who are facing death, have chronic, debilitating physical or mental illness, or are grieving a loss. We feel helpless because we can’t avert their suffering; all we can do is sit with them and listen. And yet, that is all Christ asks of us — to remember that no one is meant to suffer alone.

On Good Friday, we are called to watch and wait at the foot of the cross. On Holy Saturday, we are called to watch and wait at the tomb. If we are faithful in our presence in dark times, we will also be graced to witness the new life that always emerges through our communion with Christ.