The Healing Power of Listening

A friend was recently visiting his elderly father, who had a broken pelvis and was about to enter into hospice care. For many years, they had an uneasy relationship because of some unfortunate parenting decisions and expectations. However, after his mother died several years ago, my friend started to call his father every morning just to make sure he was okay and to chat a bit. He also traveled for in-depth visits with his father (who lived ten hours away) twice a year.

When they were together in the hospital, his father said, “You know, I think our relationship has gotten better the past several years.” My friend asked, “Why do you think that is?” “Because you listen to me,” he said. He then apologized for an incident that occurred when my friend was in high school.

This story illustrates the wisdom of St. Benedict, who said, “Listen with the ear of your heart.” It is difficult to be open to people who have wounded us, but when we do, space opens up for healing to occur.

Jesus certainly knew about the power of listening and being present to others. The gospels tell us about lengthy conversations he had with Nicodemus and the Samaritan woman. He once asked a blind man, “What do you want me to do for you?” He even engaged the man with the power to condemn him to death, Pontius Pilate, in a discussion about truth that led Pilate to want to release him.

Our judgments and feelings often hinder our ability to listen, but when we can set those aside with the intention of simply listening to another person, the only things required of us are time and patience — the same things that God offers to each of us in abundance. Thus, if we really want to follow the way of Jesus, we need to take time to listen to others, which will help contribute to the healing of the world.