The novitiate comes with the gift of a weekly “hermit day”
that is set apart for prayer, journaling, meditation, and spiritual reading.
However, because the gift of time is so rare in our busy world, I find myself
being anxious about how to make the best use of these days. What books should I
read? How should I structure these days to receive their maximum benefit? What
if I come to the end of the year only to discover I have squandered these
precious days? The compulsion to be productive insinuates itself even into a
day of prayer!
Fortunately, before I came to the Mount, my friend Eileen
gave me a beautifully illustrated quote by Teilhard de Chardin that continues
to guide me. It reads in part: “We are impatient of being on the way to
something unknown, something new…. Do not try to force [your ideas] on, as
though you could be today what time (that is to say, grace, and circumstances
acting on your own good will) will make of you tomorrow. Only God could say
what this new spirit gradually forming within you could be. Give our Lord the
benefit of believing that his hand is leading you; accept the anxiety of
feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete.”
It occurs to me that I need to cultivate an attitude of
receptivity during my novitiate, and especially on my hermit days. Today I set
out for a meditative walk and noticed there were beans to be picked, so I
picked beans. I looked in the refrigerator and found leftover salad
ingredients, so I made a salad for lunch. I uncovered an issue of the LCWR Occasional Papers in a pile on my desk, so
I read an interview with Krista Tippett about how we can respond to our
fractured world. My brother Jeff came to mind, so we had a long overdue phone
conversation. I found myself nodding off during centering prayer, so I took a
nap. Is this what a hermit day is supposed to look like? I don’t know, but it’s
what my day looked like, a day of just being, a day of being receptive to what
God set before me, with trust that a new spirit is somehow forming within me.
Indeed, being. I find this quiet presence to be more challenging as the years go on and connectivity increases. Multi-tasking becomes a way of life. An older, contemplative sister once said to me, "Just sit over there and let God look at you." It turned out to be profound advice that somehow changed the perspective on my meditative periods. Enjoy your treasured hermit days!
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