Our Choice in the Wilderness

The theme of the Mount’s 2019 annual retreat, preached by Abbot Jerome Kodell, is “The Spiritual Path in the Wilderness.” One of the intriguing points Abbot Jerome makes is that, when Moses says to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and lead the Israelites out of Egypt?” God does not reply by affirming Moses and listing his qualifications. Instead, God says, “I will be with you.”

How would our lives change if we truly believed that God is always with us? We likely would be more courageous in living the gospel and less fearful that our own needs won’t be met. Yet we don’t believe God is always with us because, after all, bad things have happened in our lives…illness, the death of loved ones, financial difficulties, relationship problems. How can God be with us when things like that happen?

When we equate God with an invisibility shield that will protect us from all of life’s struggles and pain, we are bound to be disappointed and lose faith. As difficult as it is to accept, a life without struggle and suffering is not in our best interest. Sr. Jeanne Weber has noted, “We need to enter into the mystery of suffering instead of trying to understand it or evade it, and that suffering has the potential to open us to God in ways not otherwise possible.” As Abbot Jerome explained, “Unlike other creatures, humans are given a choice. If you don’t have to struggle, you don’t have to choose. Wilderness is not a punishment but a gift that helps us keep choosing God.”

In response to the temptations he experienced in the wilderness, Jesus chose God. His choice helped clarify who he was and what he was intended to do. The same is true of us. The path won’t be easy, but along the way we will receive signs that God is with us if we listen and incline the ear of our heart, as St. Benedict advises us to do in the prologue to his Rule.