Dispelling Our Resentments

The Gospel reading for mass yesterday (Mt. 18: 21-35) was centered on forgiveness, as a servant received dispensation of a huge debt by his king but then refused to extend the same grace to a fellow servant who owed him a much smaller sum.

I suspect that on a day-to-day basis, most of us aren’t challenged to forgive major offenses relating to betrayal, theft, physical injury, and the like. Rather, we are more often faced with letting go of irritations relating to the thoughtlessness, selfishness, and carelessness of others.

Interestingly, in one of our prayers at mass yesterday, we asked this of God: “Keep alive in us the memory of your mercy, that our angers may be calmed and our resentments dispelled.” How can our resentments be dispelled? I imagined them being blown away like dandelion seeds, but that image didn’t quite work, because then the seeds could take root elsewhere. I thought about our resentments being burned up and dispelled like smoke, but then the particles would still be hanging in the air. Dissolving our resentments like lemon juice in a glass of water doesn’t work either, because the water takes on the bitter flavor of the lemon.

To dispel resentments, it would appear that alchemy is required—that is, “a power or process that changes or transforms something in a mysterious or impressive way.” Mercy is the mysterious, impressive power that transforms our resentment into understanding and compassion—specifically, God’s unfailing mercy for our many offenses and failings. How does God’s mercy achieve this transformation? It makes us grateful, humble, and able to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes.

It would seem that yesterday’s prayer needs just a little tweaking: “Keep alive in us the memory of your mercy, O God, that our angers may be calmed and our resentments transformed into understanding and compassion.”