Our Need To Be Seen

One wonders why Thomas wasn’t with the other disciples who took refuge behind locked doors after Jesus’ death. Was he sent out to buy food, or perhaps to gauge the level of persecution they might be facing as disciples of Jesus? Did he have to attend to urgent family business? Whatever the reason, his absence made him an outsider after Jesus appeared to the other disciples. They saw Jesus, and he did not. The others were reassured by Jesus’ presence, and he was not. Thomas must have felt sidelined, overlooked, jealous; no wonder he responded with defensiveness, belligerence, and bluster: “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nail marks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”

Thomas really didn’t need to see Jesus’ wounds; he needed Jesus to see his wounds. He needed reassurance that he too was beloved, that he was worthy to be in Jesus’ inner circle, that he mattered to Jesus. By addressing Thomas directly at the time of his next appearance, Jesus let Thomas know that he was seen and he was blessed, while also affirming those who are able to trust in Jesus’ love for them despite their wounds.

Thomas isn’t a particularly prominent character in the gospels; he is only mentioned twice, as opposed to Peter, James, and John, who seemingly accompanied Jesus everyone. And yet Thomas’ story has endured through the ages and continues to speak to us today — perhaps because we are all wounded, we all need reassurance, and we all need affirmation of our value and worth. Jesus knows this, as he knew it of Thomas. Thus if we, like Thomas, continue to show up and stay in communion with our fellow disciples, we too will experience Jesus’ presence, and our soul will know it’s worth.