In my wisdom literature class, we are currently studying the
book of Job. I found it interesting that at the end of Chapter 2, after Job had
been afflicted and his three friends journeyed to give him sympathy and
comfort, “they sat down upon the ground with him seven days and seven nights,
but none of them spoke a word to him; for they saw how great was his suffering.”
Being present to persons who are suffering is the greatest
gift we can offer them, but as we ultimately see with Job’s friends, something
in us believes that is not enough. Instead, because of our own discomfort or
our need to fix things, we feel compelled to tell suffering people that we know
how they feel, or offer an explanation for their suffering, or provide suggestions
for how to overcome it—none of which is helpful to the person who is suffering.
The best response to suffering I have encountered was
articulated by Alan Lew in his book Be
Still and Get Going: “Suffering is one of the deepwater mysteries of human
existence. It can neither be explained nor controlled, but it can be met by a
deepwater mystery of equal force—the mystery of human presence.”
It takes courage to be with someone who is suffering—to
counter the cry of “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” by manifesting
God’s presence in our own being, as did the women who were present at Jesus’
crucifixion. Suffering is a force that we all encounter, but we can take
comfort in the knowledge that it can be met with the humble and yet equal force
of human presence.
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