Writing Straight With Crooked Lines

Yesterday at Benedictine College I spoke to students in two Benedictine Spirituality classes about how I came to join a Benedictine monastery. Public speaking is low on my list of preferred activities, but the invitation prompted me to reflect on how God writes straight with crooked lines, to use a phrase coined by Charles Peguy. It was almost like an opportunity to go back and talk to my 20-year-old self.

I told the students that I believe God’s will for each of us is not specific (e.g., which particular occupational and vocational path we should follow) but general, in that God wants us to live in love and participate in God’s work of creation—that is, continually making all things new. As Sr. Mary Faith said in one of her poems, “God is not an authority on anything but love.”

I remember feeling that religious life felt too confining when I discerned about becoming a sister upon graduating from college. I then embarked on a 30+ year journey of seeking community and learning how to follow the guidance of the Spirit through my intuition. The crooked lines eventually led me back to the Mount, where now the vowed life feels more freeing than confining.

I concluded by telling the students, “I guess what I’d say to you is not to sweat too much about the specifics of what you should be doing with your life. Trust that God will be able to work with whatever decisions you make. Seek to be an authority on love, as God is. Learn to listen to the voice within, and when you experience change, remember that God is on the midst of it, making all things new.” Would it have made a difference if someone had told me that when I was 20 years old? I don’t know. We probably have to live our way into that knowledge. But we can never have too much reassurance that we are called to participate in God’s life of love and creativity.