Interestingly, before selfies became a thing, the writer Iris Murdoch defined empathy as “an occasion for unselfing.” When Jesus talked about dying to self, this is what he had in mind — shifting the focus from ourselves by observing and imagining the experience of another person. The Good Samaritan was “unselfing” when he imagined the pain and distress of a man who had been beaten and left by the side of the road.
Ironically, as Maria Popova notes in her newsletter Brain Pickings, “Empathy brings you closer to yourself by taking you out of yourself.” How can this be? The Good Samaritan might never have known his capability for compassion if he had not practiced empathy upon seeing the sad state of his neighbor. Furthermore, empathy expands our idea of “self” by teaching us about our oneness with other beings. Empathizing with others helps me discover parts of myself I wasn’t aware of because my vision had been restricted to what I label “me.” Through empathy I encounter and experience the grief of a parent who has lost a child, the joy of playing the mandolin, and the resilience of a farmer who replants after her crop has been destroyed by a hailstorm, even though “I” — what I call “myself” — have never experienced those things.
Richard Rohr says that saints see things as connected and whole; they don’t see things as separate. When a saint takes a “selfie,” an image appears not of one person but a collage of all things to which he or she is connected through Christ. We don’t have to regret all the things we will never be able to do in our one short life, because by “unselfing” through empathy, we can experience all things not just in the short span of our earthly body but in the eternal life to come.
Lent is a time we especially focus on “unselfing.” Appropriately, Lent means “springtime” as we enjoy the new life that comes from dying to self and becoming more connected to God and to others.
No comments:
Post a Comment