Finding Hope in Our Mistakes

Comedian Sam Levenson offers this advice, which is especially worth pondering at the end of the year: “You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make all of them yourself.”

Typically at year’s end many of us pause to review our accomplishments, perhaps for an annual Christmas newsletter. However, it might also be a good practice to look back at the mistakes we made in the past year. Why? Acknowledging our mistakes keeps us grounded and humble. It gives us a chance to be grateful for the patience shown to us by God and by our family, friends, community members, and colleagues. It allows us to forgive ourselves and move into the new year with a lighter heart and the intention to be more considerate and generous in our daily interactions.

So what’s your year-end roundup of mistakes? Did you insist on your own way at times, to the detriment of your relationships? Did you injure yourself because you insisted on playing a sport or doing a chore that you no longer have the strength for? Did you step on another person’s feelings, disappoint someone who was counting on you, buy too much food and let it go to waste, or indulge in gossip and criticism?

James Joyce said, “Mistakes are the portal of discovery.” Through our mistakes, we learn who we want to be and how to live a good life. Thus our goal shouldn’t be to eliminate all mistakes from our lives but to learn from them.

One of the vows that Benedictines take is to practice conversatio morum, or fidelity to the monastic way of life, which means being continually open to transformation. This practice is illustrated by a story in which someone asked a Benedictine monk, “What do monks do all day?” He responded, “We fall and we get up, we fall and we get up, we fall and we get up.”

The writer Neil Gaiman captured the spirit of conversatio morum when he said, “I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're doing something.”

Blessings as you cross the threshold of 2023, and may your openness to change in yourself, your loved ones, and the world bring you vitality and peace of heart.